Today, I accidentally wore my nice running shoes to work instead of my grubby fish-mongering shoes. This worried me because I did not want to get fish goo all over my nice running shoes, so I slipped a large plastic bag over each shoe and cinched them closed with a well tied knot and a rubber band. I called these my “shoe condoms”. For the rest of the day, my shoes were well-protected from any flying fish guts, shellfish juice, or VD’s that came their way.
I must say, I felt pretty good for coming up with this idea and found myself waltzing around the department with an air of confidence and ebullience I hadn’t felt in ages. I felt invincible. Nothing could stop me as long as I was wearing my shoe condoms. Even if by some freak accident, a water-main broke and the store flooded and water came rip-roaring down the aisles with ferocity, my shoes would stay dry and clean as a whistle, thanks to my shoe condoms.
I even had a number of customers compliment me on my shoe protection. One particularly fly-looking young lady heard the plastic-rustle of my shielded shoes coming her way, so she looked up, smiled, and said, “Hey, nice shoes!” so I puffed out my chest, tilted my head and said, “Yeah, they’re size 13’s,” and kept on walking. I’m surprised she didn’t jump me right then and there. After all, there’s nothing ladies love more than a well protected shoe.
The entire day, I couldn't help but keep thinking about how good of an idea this shoe condom thing was. I even got to the point where I was thinking of patenting my idea. So, when I got home, I did a quick google search to make sure that noone else had thought of it first and sure enough, someone has:
http://www.jaminleather.com/Shifter-Toe-Shoe-Condom-Blue-P112.aspx
Damn, another good idea down the drain...
